bloganuary, failure, happy, human, India, life, mother, motivation, poem, sad, story telling, Uncategorized

Courage = Boldness

According to merriam webster Dictionary essential meaning of bold: not afraid of danger or difficult situations.

Living boldly, defines it more. However it has different meaning for different people:

Mahatma Gandhi meant it by adhering to satyagrah, truth, non-violence. For NELSON MANDELA it was fighting against racism. And Abraham Lincoln lived boldly against slavery.

Other examples: Hillary Clinton fought against male dominated presidentship of United States (so what if she didn’t became one, it takes boldness to stand alone). We know, Angella Merkel very well.

We all might have heard Space X and Elon Musk, he dared to explore space research in a innovative way. From Facebook to Amazon, Alibaba to Ebay, all are living a bold glory.

We I cite these examples, there are ‘n’ others. Who live silently to the high level of boldness, mothers; if you know vivekananda, you will know he highly respected women, and their empowerment.

It’s true, I am immensely attracted to the boldness my mother has, she is an amazing firefighter, not actually a firefighter but the way she lives her every day it’s more or same like fighting fire!

I don’t know if I am bold enough to say about me, but I can certainly tell, somewhere deep inside we are already living that strength, maybe it’s hidden now, but it does get visible when we need it.

You don’t have to dress yourself tight leather jacket and jeans, riding new version of Apache or something. And then jamming traffic. You can just dress

Boldness

the excitement of life, you behold. Deep, dear to your heart. Wear it nicely, show it elegantly. Even in pain, smile even if lightly. Rise your head high and chin held tight. There if needed, you shall fight. Oh! See, here you go .. You are living BOLDLY…

#thoughts are personal.

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Grateful: Yes, I am!

Being alive*! Isn’t it? Waking early, and jogging in the morning freshness: I find it most interesting that I still have chance to correct my mess. I still can be sorry to those whom ‘ I may have hurt! ‘(We all know, a lot has happened;in past)

Having mother*, who every damn time, yells me to take shower, and eat on time;to avoid bad health. And father*, who worries more about their daughter’s future than his own!

I can fill my stomach, and sleep comfortably*: when there are many who lacks it, not by choice but ‘not having a choice’. I find it blessed to have these.

My country is safe, and world is at safest*! It matters a lot, when others are happy, only then, you can be at ease.

Hope*. This is the most ‘beautiful‘ thing to have, in this ‘wonderful’ world. It is said it’s never too late! ;

How can five or six things consolidate your feelings? you are grateful about! Even writing this wordpress blog, I feel gratitude.

I don’t know if you have heard or not, but there is kutti Story song from Master movie a Tamil song sung by Thalapathy Vijay and Anirudh Ravichander, talks about momentariness like…

“…Life is very short nanba, Always be happy…. “

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Dowry in a new envelope

“Dowry! What’s that?”

“We don’t take!”

“We dislike it, from the deep of our heart! “

These are very common phrases, we hear today, suits very well to the ear, who doesn’t know the meaning lying inside of it hidden truth!

From ancient times, it has been in practice,

In Indian history, Bimbisara got area of Kashi, by marrying princess of kosala. Akbar Got kingdoms by marrying jodhabai. And who said only India has this phenomena. In 1661 the king of Portugal gave Bombay, to Charles II Of England as dowry when he married the formers’ sister!

It’s not men, but women also actively participate in this play.

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bloganuary, culture, failure, family, happy, hardwork, heartbreak, human, India, life, love, mother, mother, Gita, exams, motivation, new year, christmas, 2022,2021,celebration, relax, sad, self, story telling, sucess

Last time I left my comfort zone.

Come on! I am not ultra human. I have my flaws as well. Just like many others I love having coffee on bed, watching n number of korean Or Turkish series! Yeah I love binge watching.

I dare not, organising my table; leave alone cleaning room. I have to hear mother yelling for messy clothes( Indian mothers are very emotional regarding daughters and their ‘ should be’ ‘ good habits‘.

In college days, I would scroll down wikipedia page to know a bit here and there, it was good enough to pass midterm semester exam.

If I define comfort zone: then it would be doing exactly nothing what others want me to do.

But it changed, my threshold of zone, needed breach of it’s limit. I was in existential crisis.

I was twenty-three:jobless, friends and others of my age, few of them were earning; others already had a future plan working; me, I had marriage pressure as well, what if I don’t find a good job before twenty-five;then I would have to be get married with anyone. Ah! The donkey dowry system.

In such situation, where there is a well behind you, and Cobra ahead of you; what would you do?

Exactly, then there is no rest, leave comfort and ZONE thing.

I had few entrance exams, into three phases, each phase having 0.1% or less success rate. I was afraid whether I would make or not? But i didn’t had a choice, I already had, 3 years gap after my graduation. There was no returning back, besides there were many criticising fingers, mocking my whole thing.

I wrote a line of Bhagwad Gita, nishkama karma; and that become my moto, I studied and studied, like never in past 5-6 years. I hated that, I cried a lot. I blamed God, destiny, bad luck, and what not! But I studied, I used to wake up early, and go to bed at midnight, every single mono day.

I never once went outside my house, I quit social media accounts; in one line: I did all I could do in those time;

Results?

Well I passed written exam, but didn’t appear for physical phase, I had health issues.

I have another attempt upcomig in 2022, few months left. I haven’t started yet, I have fear in my mind, but again no choice.

I realised, we don’t know our potential until we break our limit. We can never possibly understand what can be done? Just by putting a dashbord with a sign:

Don’t disturb: I am in my COMFORT ZONE!

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New year’s Eve-il

Markets are crowded, stores decorated.
People: wearing nice clothes; seems in a hurry.

She wondered, “why?”

They say, “it’s new year eve! “.

” What’s that?”, she questioned?

“It’s celebrating togetherness, prosperity, love! “, They replied.

“Ah! That’s so”;

“It’s stupid, “, ” It’s expensive! “,
she muttered.

It’s midnight;

“It’s new year eve! “, people shouted.

Excitement, filled in air reaches her ear.

Out of window, she looked outside.
Black night with colourful sky,
Different fireworks, amazing sounds.

she smiled,

” Could it be?

My brother, seeing the same, in far land,
How he is now, it’s been years, we met.

Could it be?

my mother, have time, of her work; watch this glittering ‘thing’,
I guess.

Could it be?

my father, watching with me!
It’s too near from the sky”.

“Yet, all these are;
only in my thoughts.
I can think, but can’t feel.”

“This enthusiasm, I saw in others.
People making crazy faces;
Out of joy, with their love”.

“How lovely,
if we were together, holding hands, just like them.
I will share, my yesterday’s saved bun.”

“Of course, soup, i stole from bin,
Even little, it will fill our hear!
Of togetherness, of love”.

” Different I am,
with the rest”, “who celebrate eve”.

For her it’s eve-il,
which reminds her:
Loneliness;
Dark, silent, empty heart;
Mournful tears.

Yet,
hope in memories.

Couching her body, to avoid cold from the winter breeze;
coming with the eves songs;
silently from the cracked hole, of window.

smiling!, she goes to sleep:

“Next Eve-il“

“May be!”, “mine new years eve! “.

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My Ex- parents’ house

They say I don’t belong here.
I was daughter ‘their’s’ once.

Of this family, by blood, by love.
I grew up, they married me off!

No longer, situation is same.

“I am married”, ” I am someone else’s “.
“I don’t have the say”, ” I can’t nay! “.

Once ‘my room’, is no more, mine.

This land: I planted tree, I trimmed these grasses, now flowered, with dozen fruits.

This balcony,
I cried,in pain; I danced, in rain.

This dine:
I cooked with love, of love, for the love.

So different things have grown.

I look through window; not come inside.

I am a stranger, a passing by.

This structure of wood and bricks,
People said, ‘house’; I ‘home’.

What should I plate it now:
“My ‘ex’ parents house”.

child, family, happy, humanity, life, love, mother, motivation, poem, sad, self

Mother, O Mother!

Mother, o mother!
Why work thee, day and night;
without sleep!
Why thy rest not, in sick or plight!
Why father blames you, for what you done not!
Mother, o mother!

Why hide thou tears, from others!
Why thee not complain your bothers!
Why not shout at brother, who grins and shouts; no matter, where!
Mother, o mother!

Why not aunt, washes her clothes!
Why not grandmother, does her chores!
I feel thou victim, thee not realised,
Or is it because, thou are a ‘mother’!
Mother, o mother!

I put a complain,who made my mother! Who gives love, never receives!
I dare challenge, who shames my mother! Who saves each, never gets saved. Mother, o mother!

Look at thee, thou are the queen, an empire can be built; a kingdom destroyed, Do you know not; The power thy have.

Mother, o ‘dear mother!’

shortisokay

let thy heart decide…

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