According to merriam webster Dictionary essential meaning of bold: not afraid of danger or difficult situations.
Living boldly, defines it more. However it has different meaning for different people:
Mahatma Gandhi meant it by adhering to satyagrah, truth, non-violence. For NELSON MANDELA it was fighting against racism. And Abraham Lincoln lived boldly against slavery.
Other examples: Hillary Clinton fought against male dominated presidentship of United States (so what if she didn’t became one, it takes boldness to stand alone). We know, Angella Merkel very well.
We all might have heard Space X and Elon Musk, he dared to explore space research in a innovative way. From Facebook to Amazon, Alibaba to Ebay, all are living a bold glory.
We I cite these examples, there are ‘n’ others. Who live silently to the high level of boldness, mothers; if you know vivekananda, you will know he highly respected women, and their empowerment.
It’s true, I am immensely attracted to the boldness my mother has, she is an amazing firefighter, not actually a firefighter but the way she lives her every day it’s more or same like fighting fire!
I don’t know if I am bold enough to say about me, but I can certainly tell, somewhere deep inside we are already living that strength, maybe it’s hidden now, but it does get visible when we need it.
You don’t have to dress yourself tight leather jacket and jeans, riding new version of Apache or something. And then jamming traffic. You can just dress
Boldness
the excitement of life, you behold. Deep, dear to your heart. Wear it nicely, show it elegantly. Even in pain, smile even if lightly. Rise your head high and chin held tight. There if needed, you shall fight. Oh! See, here you go .. You are living BOLDLY…
Come on! I am not ultra human. I have my flaws as well. Just like many others I love having coffee on bed, watching n number of korean Or Turkish series! Yeah I love binge watching.
I dare not, organising my table; leave alone cleaning room. I have to hear mother yelling for messy clothes( Indian mothers are very emotional regarding daughters and their ‘ should be’ ‘ good habits‘.
In college days, I would scroll down wikipedia page to know a bit here and there, it was good enough to pass midterm semester exam.
If I define comfort zone: then it would be doing exactly nothing what others want me to do.
But it changed, my threshold of zone, needed breach of it’s limit. I was in existential crisis.
I was twenty-three:jobless, friends and others of my age, few of them were earning; others already had a future plan working; me, I had marriage pressure as well, what if I don’t find a good job before twenty-five;then I would have to be get married with anyone. Ah! The donkey dowry system.
In such situation, where there is a well behind you, and Cobra ahead of you; what would you do?
Exactly, then there is no rest, leave comfort and ZONE thing.
I had few entrance exams, into three phases, each phase having 0.1% or less success rate. I was afraid whether I would make or not? But i didn’t had a choice, I already had, 3 years gap after my graduation. There was no returning back, besides there were many criticising fingers, mocking my whole thing.
I wrote a line of Bhagwad Gita, nishkama karma; and that become my moto, I studied and studied, like never in past 5-6 years. I hated that, I cried a lot. I blamed God, destiny, bad luck, and what not! But I studied, I used to wake up early, and go to bed at midnight, every single mono day.
Library seat
I neveronce went outside my house, I quit social media accounts; in one line: I did all I could do in those time;
Results?
Well I passed written exam, but didn’t appear for physical phase, I had health issues.
I have another attempt upcomig in 2022, few months left. I haven’t started yet, I have fear in my mind, but again no choice.
I realised, we don’t know our potential until we break our limit. We can never possibly understand what can be done? Just by putting a dashbord with a sign:
I always wondered, what would be I doing, if I have the luxury to do anything!
And answer was, ” I want to travel a lot, visit lots of places, take pictures and showing off on insta, for sure! “
But if there were only one choice… Only one road trip, then I would love to…
RE PATH
Reversing my journey to all those places I have been. My birth place, I never visited since born, as my father had temporary job:here and there.
My sweet Grandma’s house, I hold adorable memories. After my father lost his job I spent enough time with granny, visiting her field, temples, making friends in villages, and bunking schools.
My first love, I remember crying hours, when I learnt, he loved my classmate, I was in standard three.
My Dream factory, where I begin to aspire big, read good books, study better, be a better person… Uncountable!
Those minutes of failure, losing self- believe; that cost me tonnes, in future.
Reminiscing first:cycling,dancing falling; I can write many books on it!
Oh man! I feel nothing is worth comparing: visiting my own journey.
Every person, thing, has its own existence; that one strives for, long for.
I always used to compare myself with others; however now, I believe each of us are unique: with our own Road Trips to travel for, and write about.
I broke your dreams, with my stubborn nature. I am sorry, I should have warned you;
I hated when people talked bad about you, said, “you are ugly, dark skinned, stupid minded etc.”
I thought I was protecting you, by being what they wanted me to. I ran for the love which wasn’t mine, and I repeated this mistake again and again!
I wanted people to love me, accept me; and so I changed you: a people pleaser. Those didn’t even asked in these year, whether I was alive or not?
In this whole process of mythical LOVE I myself somewhere started hating you! For not being pretty, intelligent, rich, bad fated, and what not!
Oh dear, you can’t believe, how much sorry I am! I snatched your dream, broke it; //dreams: that made you survive in tough times. Trust me, I repent it every single day. I have become a living dead, since I lost you.
I regret it everyday! You know, I lost everything, by ignoring you: every person I loved, loved someone else! Friends left me, I cried day and night; all alone, myself; I cried so much that my tears stopped flowing and heart started aching; I couldn’t breathe! I hated my life; I am loosing my hope;
I feel like a caged bird, whose wings have been thrashed, body wounded of struggle, groaning in pain;but can’t cry help! Because it was her own decision to fly amid storm.
Dear M, I know you, so I know; you can’t forgive me easily, as I don’t do! I am ashamed of myself facing you, that’s why I am writing to you. I don’t dare ask forgiveness! Because I feel, what I did is sin; I didn’t killed a person; but botcher my own soul.
Even while writing, I can only think of your full motivational face, in hope: to shine, to be best. And all these memories hurts me, A lot! But I can’t think of anything else!
Dear, I am writing it in the hope if you read it, please! Hate me, hate me so hard that my guilt vanishes! These shackles of failures, guilts are suffocating me.
However since I am you, I can never lose hope for always.
You have been full of positive vibes, and good energy, if possible help me: this wound is not healing;
shortisokay 