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Where there is a will, there is a way

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We are running before time, so instead of analysing and staring problem direct in the eye, we want automatic solution, quote is one of such method.

What is quote?

According to Wikipedia : “A quotation is the repetition of a sentence, phrase, or passage from speech or text that someone has said or writte“.

now why do we need someone else’s saying?

Because we want to learn from their experiences,isn’t it?

It’s human nature to look up to other. Well there is Quote, that does miracles, and when I say, I mean it.

Here it is…

Many of us might have watched, Will Smith starrer movie: ‘ pursuit of happiness’. Here the main character achieves his dreams, by his will power.

You would say it’s a movie! Fine, Have you heard about Michael Jackson, the legendary;or Bruce Lee? What would you say now?

i accept they worked hard, but do you think you can do it without will power? Damn No!

Will power is the coal inside a person, that resists fire turning off!

It’s a very powerful weapon, whose possessor can get whatever he desires(should be for mankind, of course!)

However one must know, just having will power is not enough, you need to be determinant to find your way.

You must :Be Willing To Will.

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Empires built and destroyed,

Napolean to king Suleiman;

Discovery of fire to firing battleground.

For they became the ‘ Heroes of Man’;

Who sang this anthem song:

Where there is a will, there is a way

Where there is a will, there is a way

…”.

Photo by Luis Quintero on Pexels.com
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Grateful: Yes, I am!

Being alive*! Isn’t it? Waking early, and jogging in the morning freshness: I find it most interesting that I still have chance to correct my mess. I still can be sorry to those whom ‘ I may have hurt! ‘(We all know, a lot has happened;in past)

Having mother*, who every damn time, yells me to take shower, and eat on time;to avoid bad health. And father*, who worries more about their daughter’s future than his own!

I can fill my stomach, and sleep comfortably*: when there are many who lacks it, not by choice but ‘not having a choice’. I find it blessed to have these.

My country is safe, and world is at safest*! It matters a lot, when others are happy, only then, you can be at ease.

Hope*. This is the most ‘beautiful‘ thing to have, in this ‘wonderful’ world. It is said it’s never too late! ;

How can five or six things consolidate your feelings? you are grateful about! Even writing this wordpress blog, I feel gratitude.

I don’t know if you have heard or not, but there is kutti Story song from Master movie a Tamil song sung by Thalapathy Vijay and Anirudh Ravichander, talks about momentariness like…

“…Life is very short nanba, Always be happy…. “

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Dowry in a new envelope

“Dowry! What’s that?”

“We don’t take!”

“We dislike it, from the deep of our heart! “

These are very common phrases, we hear today, suits very well to the ear, who doesn’t know the meaning lying inside of it hidden truth!

From ancient times, it has been in practice,

In Indian history, Bimbisara got area of Kashi, by marrying princess of kosala. Akbar Got kingdoms by marrying jodhabai. And who said only India has this phenomena. In 1661 the king of Portugal gave Bombay, to Charles II Of England as dowry when he married the formers’ sister!

It’s not men, but women also actively participate in this play.

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Last time I left my comfort zone.

Come on! I am not ultra human. I have my flaws as well. Just like many others I love having coffee on bed, watching n number of korean Or Turkish series! Yeah I love binge watching.

I dare not, organising my table; leave alone cleaning room. I have to hear mother yelling for messy clothes( Indian mothers are very emotional regarding daughters and their ‘ should be’ ‘ good habits‘.

In college days, I would scroll down wikipedia page to know a bit here and there, it was good enough to pass midterm semester exam.

If I define comfort zone: then it would be doing exactly nothing what others want me to do.

But it changed, my threshold of zone, needed breach of it’s limit. I was in existential crisis.

I was twenty-three:jobless, friends and others of my age, few of them were earning; others already had a future plan working; me, I had marriage pressure as well, what if I don’t find a good job before twenty-five;then I would have to be get married with anyone. Ah! The donkey dowry system.

In such situation, where there is a well behind you, and Cobra ahead of you; what would you do?

Exactly, then there is no rest, leave comfort and ZONE thing.

I had few entrance exams, into three phases, each phase having 0.1% or less success rate. I was afraid whether I would make or not? But i didn’t had a choice, I already had, 3 years gap after my graduation. There was no returning back, besides there were many criticising fingers, mocking my whole thing.

I wrote a line of Bhagwad Gita, nishkama karma; and that become my moto, I studied and studied, like never in past 5-6 years. I hated that, I cried a lot. I blamed God, destiny, bad luck, and what not! But I studied, I used to wake up early, and go to bed at midnight, every single mono day.

Library seat

I never once went outside my house, I quit social media accounts; in one line: I did all I could do in those time;

Results?

Well I passed written exam, but didn’t appear for physical phase, I had health issues.

I have another attempt upcomig in 2022, few months left. I haven’t started yet, I have fear in my mind, but again no choice.

I realised, we don’t know our potential until we break our limit. We can never possibly understand what can be done? Just by putting a dashbord with a sign:

Don’t disturb: I am in my COMFORT ZONE!

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To my teenage self

Dear M

I am sorry, I really am!

I broke your dreams, with my stubborn nature. I am sorry, I should have warned you;

I hated when people talked bad about you, said, “you are ugly, dark skinned, stupid minded etc.”

I thought I was protecting you, by being what they wanted me to. I ran for the love which wasn’t mine, and I repeated this mistake again and again!

I wanted people to love me, accept me; and so I changed you: a people pleaser. Those didn’t even asked in these year, whether I was alive or not?

In this whole process of mythical LOVE I myself somewhere started hating you! For not being pretty, intelligent, rich, bad fated, and what not!

Oh dear, you can’t believe, how much sorry I am! I snatched your dream, broke it; //dreams: that made you survive in tough times. Trust me, I repent it every single day. I have become a living dead, since I lost you.

I regret it everyday! You know, I lost everything, by ignoring you: every person I loved, loved someone else! Friends left me, I cried day and night; all alone, myself; I cried so much that my tears stopped flowing and heart started aching; I couldn’t breathe! I hated my life; I am loosing my hope;

I feel like a caged bird, whose wings have been thrashed, body wounded of struggle, groaning in pain;but can’t cry help! Because it was her own decision to fly amid storm.

Dear M, I know you, so I know; you can’t forgive me easily, as I don’t do! I am ashamed of myself facing you, that’s why I am writing to you. I don’t dare ask forgiveness! Because I feel, what I did is sin; I didn’t killed a person; but botcher my own soul.

Even while writing, I can only think of your full motivational face, in hope: to shine, to be best. And all these memories hurts me, A lot! But I can’t think of anything else!

Dear, I am writing it in the hope if you read it, please! Hate me, hate me so hard that my guilt vanishes! These shackles of failures, guilts are suffocating me.

However since I am you, I can never lose hope for always.

You have been full of positive vibes, and good energy, if possible help me: this wound is not healing;

Write me….

I am sorry,

I love you…

M

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Utopian fantacies


There was a girl,
Full of innocense,
believed her dreams.

A warrior prince, she was hoping for;
Who fights her miseries;
Takes her far:
In a world of peace, love and joy,

There was a fire, sudden at night.
Her room was locked,
Her parents cried, help!

Yet that girl, sat and smiled.
She waited, doing nothing.
When the door opened,
She was bemoaned.

Sitting by the window,
Waiting for that prince.
Closing the door,
Not crying anymore!

What a dark imagination she had!
Once what made her happy,
Today, killed her crappy.

What a believe, fated to ashes!

A utopian fantasy!
I declare!

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Lessen you’ thinketh

The more you think, the worse.

As thoughts are contradictory, self and others.

Uncombined twisted meaning of conventional wisdom.

Paradoxical events binds together, in an event of cognitive dissonance.

Has been less complicated in approach; Plato has not been melted into simplicity.

Greek philosophers to Indian ancient hymns: Large canonical texts, looks impressed.

Wonder it’s been, to decode:

Thoughts, it’s origin, processed, divided.

To me, to others and to this overlapping structure of society.

This ‘thought’, has robes to change.

Rightly been said:

The less you think, the better.

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Crown

Mesmerized:

by the precious gems, and jingles;
of my crown.

Many of you, raised brows and frowned.

You might be:

counting the stars of my sky, shining, much above; your ever did.

Agony of non- fulfilment might have caused:

you, bemoaning of theft.

And,
Less adamant you might be,
knowing:

Thorns in my crown

Those sleepless night, of countless efforts;
I made.

Eyes swollen, hand shivering;
body crying, “rest in need! “.

Dare I avoid!

Those Bating down.

I made those stars: glittery;
Brushing: time and time.



When you were resting, I at quest.



I choose those jwels from mine of bravest:
With armour of will, passion and writ.

Look the mockery of time,
Yet you question thorns of crown!
I adore it, from the day; I was born.


Blessed was I: to have the God.
To have mercy, to show a path.

Loved I was, it worked out, fruited sweet with dozens light.

But,


Here you go, doubting my sword!

I challange!

Wear your bestest, carry your sharpest;
Hold your shoulder tight!

Fight,
Have these scorns!
If you win,

You can own :

This bleeding crown”.

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New year’s Eve-il


Markets are crowded, stores decorated.
People: wearing nice clothes; seems in a hurry.


She wondered,why?”



They say,it’s new year eve! “.



What’s that?”, she questioned?



“It’s celebrating togetherness, prosperity, love! “, They replied.



Ah! That’s so”;



“It’s stupid, “, ” It’s expensive! “,
she muttered.



It’s midnight;



It’s new year eve! “, people shouted.


Excitement, filled in air reaches her ear.


Out of window, she looked outside.
Black night with colourful sky,
Different fireworks, amazing sounds.


she smiled,


Could it be?


My brother, seeing the same, in far land,
How he is now, it’s been years, we met.

Could it be?


my mother, have time, of her work; watch this glittering ‘thing’,
I guess.

Could it be?


my father, watching with me!
It’s too near from the sky”.

Yet, all these are;
only in my thoughts.
I can think, but can’t feel.”

“This enthusiasm, I saw in others.
People making crazy faces;
Out of joy, with their love”.

How lovely,
if we were together, holding hands, just like them.
I will share, my yesterday’s saved bun.”


“Of course, soup, i stole from bin,
Even little, it will fill our hear!
Of togetherness, of love”.

Different I am,
with the rest”, “who celebrate eve”.

For her it’s eve-il,
which reminds her:
Loneliness;
Dark, silent, empty heart;
Mournful tears.

Yet,
hope in memories.

Couching her body, to avoid cold from the winter breeze;
coming with the eves songs;
silently from the cracked hole, of window.

smiling!, she goes to sleep:



Next Eve-il


“May be!”, “mine new years eve! “.

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My Ex- parents’ house

They say I don’t belong here.
I was daughter ‘their’s’ once.

Of this family, by blood, by love.
I grew up, they married me off!

No longer, situation is same.

“I am married”, ” I am someone else’s “.
“I don’t have the say”, ” I can’t nay! “.

Once ‘my room’, is no more, mine.

This land: I planted tree, I trimmed these grasses, now flowered, with dozen fruits.

This balcony,
I cried,in pain; I danced, in rain.

This dine:
I cooked with love, of love, for the love.

So different things have grown.

I look through window; not come inside.

I am a stranger, a passing by.

This structure of wood and bricks,
People said, ‘house’; I ‘home’.

What should I plate it now:
“My ‘ex’ parents house”.

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