Category Archives: culture

bloganuary, culture, failure, family, happy, hardwork, heartbreak, human, India, life, love, mother, mother, Gita, exams, motivation, new year, christmas, 2022,2021,celebration, relax, sad, self, story telling, sucess

Last time I left my comfort zone.

Come on! I am not ultra human. I have my flaws as well. Just like many others I love having coffee on bed, watching n number of korean Or Turkish series! Yeah I love binge watching.

I dare not, organising my table; leave alone cleaning room. I have to hear mother yelling for messy clothes( Indian mothers are very emotional regarding daughters and their ‘ should be’ ‘ good habits‘.

In college days, I would scroll down wikipedia page to know a bit here and there, it was good enough to pass midterm semester exam.

If I define comfort zone: then it would be doing exactly nothing what others want me to do.

But it changed, my threshold of zone, needed breach of it’s limit. I was in existential crisis.

I was twenty-three:jobless, friends and others of my age, few of them were earning; others already had a future plan working; me, I had marriage pressure as well, what if I don’t find a good job before twenty-five;then I would have to be get married with anyone. Ah! The donkey dowry system.

In such situation, where there is a well behind you, and Cobra ahead of you; what would you do?

Exactly, then there is no rest, leave comfort and ZONE thing.

I had few entrance exams, into three phases, each phase having 0.1% or less success rate. I was afraid whether I would make or not? But i didn’t had a choice, I already had, 3 years gap after my graduation. There was no returning back, besides there were many criticising fingers, mocking my whole thing.

I wrote a line of Bhagwad Gita, nishkama karma; and that become my moto, I studied and studied, like never in past 5-6 years. I hated that, I cried a lot. I blamed God, destiny, bad luck, and what not! But I studied, I used to wake up early, and go to bed at midnight, every single mono day.

Library seat

I never once went outside my house, I quit social media accounts; in one line: I did all I could do in those time;

Results?

Well I passed written exam, but didn’t appear for physical phase, I had health issues.

I have another attempt upcomig in 2022, few months left. I haven’t started yet, I have fear in my mind, but again no choice.

I realised, we don’t know our potential until we break our limit. We can never possibly understand what can be done? Just by putting a dashbord with a sign:

Don’t disturb: I am in my COMFORT ZONE!

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Lessen you’ thinketh

The more you think, the worse.

As thoughts are contradictory, self and others.

Uncombined twisted meaning of conventional wisdom.

Paradoxical events binds together, in an event of cognitive dissonance.

Has been less complicated in approach; Plato has not been melted into simplicity.

Greek philosophers to Indian ancient hymns: Large canonical texts, looks impressed.

Wonder it’s been, to decode:

Thoughts, it’s origin, processed, divided.

To me, to others and to this overlapping structure of society.

This ‘thought’, has robes to change.

Rightly been said:

The less you think, the better.

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Crown

Mesmerized:

by the precious gems, and jingles;
of my crown.

Many of you, raised brows and frowned.

You might be:

counting the stars of my sky, shining, much above; your ever did.

Agony of non- fulfilment might have caused:

you, bemoaning of theft.

And,
Less adamant you might be,
knowing:

Thorns in my crown

Those sleepless night, of countless efforts;
I made.

Eyes swollen, hand shivering;
body crying, “rest in need! “.

Dare I avoid!

Those Bating down.

I made those stars: glittery;
Brushing: time and time.



When you were resting, I at quest.



I choose those jwels from mine of bravest:
With armour of will, passion and writ.

Look the mockery of time,
Yet you question thorns of crown!
I adore it, from the day; I was born.


Blessed was I: to have the God.
To have mercy, to show a path.

Loved I was, it worked out, fruited sweet with dozens light.

But,


Here you go, doubting my sword!

I challange!

Wear your bestest, carry your sharpest;
Hold your shoulder tight!

Fight,
Have these scorns!
If you win,

You can own :

“This bleeding crown”.

It takes blood and sweat to wear that crown.
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New year’s Eve-il


Markets are crowded, stores decorated.
People: wearing nice clothes; seems in a hurry.


She wondered, “why?”



They say, “it’s new year eve! “.



” What’s that?”, she questioned?



“It’s celebrating togetherness, prosperity, love! “, They replied.



“Ah! That’s so”;



“It’s stupid, “, ” It’s expensive! “,
she muttered.



It’s midnight;



“It’s new year eve! “, people shouted.


Excitement, filled in air reaches her ear.


Out of window, she looked outside.
Black night with colourful sky,
Different fireworks, amazing sounds.


she smiled,


” Could it be?


My brother, seeing the same, in far land,
How he is now, it’s been years, we met.

Could it be?


my mother, have time, of her work; watch this glittering ‘thing’,
I guess.

Could it be?


my father, watching with me!
It’s too near from the sky”.

“Yet, all these are;
only in my thoughts.
I can think, but can’t feel.”

“This enthusiasm, I saw in others.
People making crazy faces;
Out of joy, with their love”.

“How lovely,
if we were together, holding hands, just like them.
I will share, my yesterday’s saved bun.”


“Of course, soup, i stole from bin,
Even little, it will fill our hear!
Of togetherness, of love”.

” Different I am,
with the rest”, “who celebrate eve”.

For her it’s eve-il,
which reminds her:
Loneliness;
Dark, silent, empty heart;
Mournful tears.

Yet,
hope in memories.

Couching her body, to avoid cold from the winter breeze;
coming with the eves songs;
silently from the cracked hole, of window.

smiling!, she goes to sleep:



“Next Eve-il“


“May be!”, “mine new years eve! “.

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My Ex- parents’ house

They say I don’t belong here.
I was daughter ‘their’s’ once.

Of this family, by blood, by love.
I grew up, they married me off!

No longer, situation is same.

“I am married”, ” I am someone else’s “.
“I don’t have the say”, ” I can’t nay! “.

Once ‘my room’, is no more, mine.

This land: I planted tree, I trimmed these grasses, now flowered, with dozen fruits.

This balcony,
I cried,in pain; I danced, in rain.

This dine:
I cooked with love, of love, for the love.

So different things have grown.

I look through window; not come inside.

I am a stranger, a passing by.

This structure of wood and bricks,
People said, ‘house’; I ‘home’.

What should I plate it now:
“My ‘ex’ parents house”.

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H’man

Somewhere in hell…
“Rise!the demon of desires and flame”; “that destroys the human nature of purity.”
“Oh, thy mighty! Dost thou know, people are following, what you were killed for”;
“No longer, the God of heaven, will blame us.”
Lacked they kindness, long forbidden humanity!
“Ah! They have zeal for hatred”.
They are conspiring against each other, The one loved, is being hated to heart!
Basket of desires, all have on their head!
Hands:not begging, but snatching does.
We no longer need “that snake to envy the eve”, as Adam has lost senses and GOD has decided to keep quiet…

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Dotage

When you grow old, you suddenly become wise.
What seemed important, all now naive.
You want to do many things, all at the same time,
Though patient, you are not patience,
Frequently you have, nightmares and and you have noone on your side.
For all of now you want to hold this time, now, right now and for now.

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Justifying your character

Life is amazing, isn’t it,
It has its own beats and drums.
Neither too straight, nor full of curves;
It’s a combo of both, with unequal amount.
The time when are at the top of sky, somehow we fall to the ground;
And when, we are at the bottom of our verge it’s gives us a sudden kick.
We spend long sleepless nights, just to wonder, what’s happening with us.
And sometimes we ask the astrologists to just predict for us,
But it doesn’t matter, we are never ready to welcome our life as it is.
Predicting is just another way to manipulate the reality, in our own bases.
Human existence along with others have been based on life, yet most of us, sometimes, just decide to quit.
What a wastage of the creator, if any; his time and wine.
Yet, no matter what one applies, this science of life is beyond common sense.
Sometimes it’s about pain and joy; sometimes it’s about mirth and coy.
Aren’t we in love with movies and drama of our favorite actors,

Can we imagine, if the life is same, then it’s a question; are we justifying with character we have got!

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A day in factory life

Darky, dusty, gloomy chimneys;

Outside painted, inside bleached.

Human agony; tainted brain.

Space congested, polluted drain.

Suffocate, succumb, yet survive.

Need becomes;

Bosses command.

Bonded are few, others can’t refuse;

Starved stomach, as demands.

Forget miseries; “what about life? “

Here one live, not alive.

Here one subsist, not exist.

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