Dear M

I am sorry, I really am!

I broke your dreams, with my stubborn nature. I am sorry, I should have warned you;

I hated when people talked bad about you, said, “you are ugly, dark skinned, stupid minded etc.”

I thought I was protecting you, by being what they wanted me to. I ran for the love which wasn’t mine, and I repeated this mistake again and again!

I wanted people to love me, accept me; and so I changed you: a people pleaser. Those didn’t even asked in these year, whether I was alive or not?

In this whole process of mythical LOVE I myself somewhere started hating you! For not being pretty, intelligent, rich, bad fated, and what not!

Oh dear, you can’t believe, how much sorry I am! I snatched your dream, broke it; //dreams: that made you survive in tough times. Trust me, I repent it every single day. I have become a living dead, since I lost you.

I regret it everyday! You know, I lost everything, by ignoring you: every person I loved, loved someone else! Friends left me, I cried day and night; all alone, myself; I cried so much that my tears stopped flowing and heart started aching; I couldn’t breathe! I hated my life; I am loosing my hope;

I feel like a caged bird, whose wings have been thrashed, body wounded of struggle, groaning in pain;but can’t cry help! Because it was her own decision to fly amid storm.

Dear M, I know you, so I know; you can’t forgive me easily, as I don’t do! I am ashamed of myself facing you, that’s why I am writing to you. I don’t dare ask forgiveness! Because I feel, what I did is sin; I didn’t killed a person; but botcher my own soul.

Even while writing, I can only think of your full motivational face, in hope: to shine, to be best. And all these memories hurts me, A lot! But I can’t think of anything else!

Dear, I am writing it in the hope if you read it, please! Hate me, hate me so hard that my guilt vanishes! These shackles of failures, guilts are suffocating me.

However since I am you, I can never lose hope for always.

You have been full of positive vibes, and good energy, if possible help me: this wound is not healing;

Write me….

I am sorry,

I love you…

M